Monday, October 26, 2009
The Joy Of Queening
Why do I love the simple, profoundly evocative act of queening so much? There are many reasons. Even though I am the submissive partner in our marriage I am often the one who suggests trying new things. Provided an idea passes muster with Her Majesty we try the activity and see if we both enjoy it. Some ideas are tried once and abandoned. Others are occasionally revisited during play. A few activities are successful enough to become rituals that are practiced on a regular basis. Queening is such an activity.
I have already spoken about how busy Her Majesty and I are and how little privacy we have. Finding free time and opportunities for a full blown session can be a challenge. After relocating my mother to our home city there are even more demands on our time. Queening is a perfect solution for us because it is a quick, dirty little pleasure that requires very little time, planning or preparation to perform. It’s a bit like fast food D/s for the busy FemDom couple on the run. It is also an activity that I dearly love. Queening satisfies my submissive heart on a deep level like practically no other activity.
When I look back at my childhood I sometimes stumble upon early clues to my latent submissive sexuality that make me smile. As a prepubescent boy I remember finding a deck of playing cards that someone had thoughtlessly scattered on the sidewalk. I was only 11 or 12 at the time. The cards depicted men and women performing every conceivable sexual act. One card depicted a man performing analingus on a woman. That card stood out from the rest of the pack and fired my imagination more than all the others. At the time I remember feeling like that act was “the farthest you could go” or “the dirtiest you could get" when it came to my limited knowledge of human sexuality. It also seemed very desirable to me at the time.
As a sexually active teenager I soon discovered the joys of providing my partner with oral pleasure. For me there was much truth in the old adage; "it is better to give than to receive", especially when it came to oral sex. This was yet another clue to my submissive sexuality though I did not realize it at the time. Needless to say none of my partners complained too much about my enthusiasm in this area. Often while going down on a lover my curiosity led me to stray from the main focus of my attentions to the taboo area immediately below. I discovered I loved exploring this forbidden zone and it proved to be a powerful aphrodisiac for me. The suggestion had been planted in my mind a few years earlier and the reality did not disappoint. I guess for me it was just "in the cards". ;-)
Although cunnilingus has been accepted by most of society as a pretty normal component of vanilla sex, analingus crosses over the line into "very definitely kinky" territory. The act itself has undeniable D/s overtones. One type A macho male friend of mine reported that when a girl did that to him he knew he had her "under his thumb".
Once you make the transition from analingus to queening the D/s implications are impossible to ignore. Queening is very much about one player having power over the other. By sitting on the face of her submissive the dominant makes it clear that oral servitude is a demand not a request. With his head trapped beneath her there is an element of bondage implied in the scenario. The sub becomes a piece of human furniture (albeit one that orally services its occupant) thus bringing objectification into play. The act can also incorporate smothering which is very much a part of the sadomasochistic repertoire. Both the physical position of the participants and the possible consumption of waste material are characteristics that queening shares with the deeply taboo act of human toilet servitude. Finally queening is a very intimate form of Goddess worship, one of the factors that makes it so appealing to me personally. All of these characteristics make queening a powerfully compelling and evocative act for me and many of my submissive brethren.
It is an honor and a privilege to offer my face as Her Majesty's seat. It is also one of my greatest pleasures in life! ;-)
Illustrations by Namio Harukawa courtesy of the Museum Of FemDom Art