Around this time last year I thought I had lost interest in blogging. Rather than rehashing my reasons I will post a link for those who are interested. As it turns out the answer was not to stop blogging but to post less frequently. I was driving myself crazy trying to post too much. Does it matter if I blog or not? No of course it doesn’t. So why not just relax and enjoy myself? There is no need to be obsessive or compulsive about it. I decided not to pressure myself and to only post when I felt a sincere desire to do so.
Since then I have rediscovered blogging as a pleasurable and fulfilling pastime. I love to write. I also enjoy the collage aspect; collecting images from the Internet and assembling them on the page. I think about Femdom and BDSM a lot so the blog is a healthy outlet for me.
I keep a journal now which allows me to write about topics that are too personal for the blog and/or topics that have nothing to do with FemDom. The journal works well as a staging area for blog posts. Many posts start out as journal entries these days.
My general rule of thumb is to post at least once a month but no more than once a week. That helps prevent me from rushing to put something out there then deleting it when I realize I hate it. I am breaking my own rule as this is my second post in as many days but I am sick and home alone so I have some extra time on my hands. Her Majesty will be home in a couple of days. I will not have as much time to blog once our regular routine resumes.
I enjoy the community aspect of blogging. Prior to becoming a blogger I was a heavy poster on BDSM bulletin boards so I was accustomed to the give and take of a lively conversation. For that reason comments were very important to me. Many bloggers post without seeming to care whether readers leave comments or not. Many don’t reply when people do leave comments. That used to bother me until I realized it was perfectly fine. When people leave comments it’s great! Supportive comments are always welcome. People don’t always have to agree with me. I enjoy the occasional polite and respectful debate. Nasty comments are of course unwelcome and never see the light of day. That is one aspect of Internet bulletin boards I do not miss!
As it turns out one of the keys to happiness in blogging (as in other areas of life) is moderation. There is a flip side to social media interaction; a darker vein that runs beneath the surface. I thought Arthur C. Brooks captured it eloquently in his editorial “Love People Not Pleasure” recently published in the New York Times.
“Today, each of us can build a personal little fan base, thanks to Facebook, YouTube, Twitter and the like. We can broadcast the details of our lives to friends and strangers in an astonishingly efficient way. That’s good for staying in touch with friends, but it also puts a minor form of fame-seeking within each person’s reach. And several studies show that it can make us unhappy.
It makes sense. What do you post to Facebook? Pictures of yourself yelling at your kids, or having a hard time at work? No, you post smiling photos of a hiking trip with friends. You build a fake life — or at least an incomplete one — and share it. Furthermore, you consume almost exclusively the fake lives of your social media “friends.” Unless you are extraordinarily self-aware, how could it not make you feel worse to spend part of your time pretending to be happier than you are, and the other part of your time seeing how much happier others seem to be than you?”
I found these words thought provoking. I try to be honest on the blog. I never post fiction unless I label it as such. I don't talk much about problems in my relationship with Her Majesty because it would not be appropriate and I am quite sure she would not appreciate it. I save that kind of thing for my journal. I have stopped believing that strangers on the Internet have the answers to my quandaries. Usually I find the answers I seek much closer to home. I am not immune to enjoying a little rush of pleasure when someone leaves a supportive comment nor the minor form of "fame seeking" Mr. Brooks speaks of in his editorial. Part of making peace with the blog turned out to be not taking it (or myself) too seriously.
Photos courtesy of Sado-Ladies. (Sure I know the pictures have nothing to do with the text but who cares? Sado Ladies produce some excellent femdom erotica IMHO! )