Monday, August 11, 2014

Why Blog?

Around this time last year I thought I had lost interest in blogging. Rather than rehashing my reasons I will post a link for those who are interested. As it turns out the answer was not to stop blogging but to post less frequently. I was driving myself crazy trying to post too much. Does it matter if I blog or not? No of course it doesn’t. So why not just relax and enjoy myself? There is no need to be obsessive or compulsive about it. I decided not to pressure myself and to only post when I felt a sincere desire to do so.

Since then I have rediscovered blogging as a pleasurable and fulfilling pastime. I love to write. I also enjoy the collage aspect; collecting images from the Internet and assembling them on the page. I think about Femdom and BDSM a lot so the blog is a healthy outlet for me.

I keep a journal now which allows me to write about topics that are too personal for the blog and/or topics that have nothing to do with FemDom. The journal works well as a staging area for blog posts. Many posts start out as journal entries these days.

My general rule of thumb is to post at least once a month but no more than once a week. That helps prevent me from rushing to put something out there then deleting it when I realize I hate it. I am breaking my own rule as this is my second post in as many days but I am sick and home alone so I have some extra time on my hands. Her Majesty will be home in a couple of days. I will not have as much time to blog once our regular routine resumes.

I enjoy the community aspect of blogging. Prior to becoming a blogger I was a heavy poster on BDSM bulletin boards so I was accustomed to the give and take of a lively conversation. For that reason comments were very important to me. Many bloggers post without seeming to care whether readers leave comments or not. Many don’t reply when people do leave comments. That used to bother me until I realized it was perfectly fine. When people leave comments it’s great! Supportive comments are always welcome. People don’t always have to agree with me. I enjoy the occasional polite and respectful debate. Nasty comments are of course unwelcome and never see the light of day. That is one aspect of Internet bulletin boards I do not miss!

I can tell from Google Analytics that folks are still reading "Her Majestys Plaything" for which I am very grateful. The most popular posts seem to be those featuring femdom artists and first hand accounts of my sessions with Her Majesty. Posts about queening seem quite popular and some of the book reviews also seem to be well received. At the moment I am reading “The Big Book Of Submission: 69 Kinky Tales” a collection of D/s erotica edited by Rachel Kramer Bussel. I hope to have that review up soon.

As it turns out one of the keys to happiness in blogging (as in other areas of life) is moderation. There is a flip side to social media interaction; a darker vein that runs beneath the surface. I thought Arthur C. Brooks captured it eloquently in his editorial “Love People Not Pleasure” recently published in the New York Times.

“Today, each of us can build a personal little fan base, thanks to Facebook, YouTube, Twitter and the like. We can broadcast the details of our lives to friends and strangers in an astonishingly efficient way. That’s good for staying in touch with friends, but it also puts a minor form of fame-seeking within each person’s reach. And several studies show that it can make us unhappy.

It makes sense. What do you post to Facebook? Pictures of yourself yelling at your kids, or having a hard time at work? No, you post smiling photos of a hiking trip with friends. You build a fake life — or at least an incomplete one — and share it. Furthermore, you consume almost exclusively the fake lives of your social media “friends.” Unless you are extraordinarily self-aware, how could it not make you feel worse to spend part of your time pretending to be happier than you are, and the other part of your time seeing how much happier others seem to be than you?”

I found these words thought provoking. I try to be honest on the blog. I never post fiction unless I label it as such. I don't talk much about problems in my relationship with Her Majesty because it would not be appropriate and I am quite sure she would not appreciate it. I save that kind of thing for my journal. I have stopped believing that strangers on the Internet have the answers to my quandaries. Usually I find the answers I seek much closer to home. I am not immune to enjoying a little rush of pleasure when someone leaves a supportive comment nor the minor form of "fame seeking" Mr. Brooks speaks of in his editorial. Part of making peace with the blog turned out to be not taking it (or myself) too seriously.

Cheers and Happy Monday! :)

Photos courtesy of Sado-Ladies.  (Sure I know the pictures have nothing to do with the text but who cares?  Sado Ladies produce some excellent femdom erotica IMHO! )

Saturday, August 9, 2014

Sexiest Mouth In The World

Her Majesty has the sexiest mouth in the world. I always tell her that. Her full sensual lips come to her naturally. Many women spend thousands of dollars on collagen injections trying to achieve that effect. When Her Majesty’s lips spread into a smile it makes my heart sing.

The sound of Her Majesty’s voice is sweet and melodious. Some of her Caribbean lilt still lingers even after decades of Americanization. I am sensitive to even the slightest change in nuance and tone. It may seem like a small thing but if you plan on spending the rest of your life with someone the sound of their voice becomes very important. I would never last in a relationship with Fran Drescher. The sound of her voice would be a deal killer.

I am feeling under the weather today. I am weak, woozy, choking on post nasal drip, hacking and coughing. Sexy huh? I'm a real phlegm fatale. Her Majesty has been gone for a couple of weeks and I miss her like crazy. Fortunately this will be my last weekend alone. As her homecoming approaches my anticipation is starting to build.

After 28 years of marriage I have become accustomed to these annual separations. I have come to believe they are beneficial for our relationship. A little separation helps us gain perspective and better appreciate what we have. A little independence makes us stronger as individuals which in turn strengthens us as a couple. After my mother died I was a little numb. I think it was good for me to be alone and get in touch with my feelings again after everything that happened. But now I can’t wait to see Her Majesty again and kiss her royal feet hello!

Since I am missing the sound of Her Majesty’s voice so much I assembled some of her quotes to post on the blog. I mostly chose quotes that struck me as funny or sexy. A few words cannot capture the whole person of course. By cherry picking Her Majesty’s words I run the risk of giving you an incomplete picture of what she is really like. Nevertheless I hope you will find these quotes illuminating and amusing.

Thats what I like to see! A wife cooking for me when I get home from work! Ha ha ha!

Enough worshiping! Get on with your life!

He was short. Really short. He was shorter than you.

If you don't tell me what happens in the next episode I won't sit on your face.

I'm the boss of my body not you!

Shhhh! Stop screaming!

You better not die on me or I'll kill you!

Stop worrying. We have a good relationship. Stop trying to analyze it. It is what it is.

Hey sweetie missing you like mad. Especially yr delish coffee.
Love u my darling. Will see u in a week. Luv luv luv!

Ok the last one was a recent text message. Insert sexy mouth imoge here.

Photos courtesy of Google Images and Classy Femdom Universe

Sunday, July 20, 2014

Freshly Whipped Plaything

Her Majesty and I had a wonderful time up North. Unfortunately she had to leave for her annual migration South almost as soon as we arrived home. This morning I awoke at 3am fetched her coffee and carried her bags downstairs. A few minutes later a taxi pulled up in front of our house and whisked her away.

I had given up on having a session before she left. Much to my surprise she welcomed me home with a big smile on Friday night and told me our son (who is back from college) would be out for the evening. I took in that information blinking stupidly like a deer in the head lights. Having already accepted that my fondest wish would probably be denied it took me a minute to readjust.

“We can play after dinner” she said smiling sweetly. 

“Yes!” I thought. “She did mean that!”

It was a warm summer night so Her Majesty didn’t bother with Dominatrix attire. She sat on the couch watching a loud action packed movie while I sat beneath her on the floor rubbing her feet. After awhile I lay back and spread my legs wide apart so she could crush my balls underfoot. Finally she told me to hand her the whip. Her Majesty’s whip is short, thick and cruel. I knelt on the floor kissing her foot while she painted my ass bright red with it. 

Her Majesty took her time, slowly building the intensity. She whipped me patiently and methodically like a master chef preparing egg whites for a delicious souffle. Periodically I felt her cool fingers run over my burning ass cheeks as though checking to make sure her dish was well cooked. In the beginning it was hard for me to stay still. Our short single tail carries plenty of sting and thud. By the end I welcomed every stroke of her lash like a fiery kiss. I wanted it go on forever. I was flying. Eventually I heard her say; “OK that’s enough”, from somewhere far above me. 

I knelt in patient anticipation while Her Majesty donned a pair of latex gloves. She slipped her fingers inside me; lubricating me and stretching me out. I felt the tip of the vibrating dildo press against my asshole. I pushed against it and helped guide her hand; surrendering to her completely and willing myself to open up like a flower. The head slipped all the way in making me cry out. The long thick shaft followed, filling me up and making me groan. She slid it all the way in and left it there. I felt a single latex gloved finger slide from my perineum up to my balls. She took them in her rubber gloved fingers and squeezed. 

“Thank you Ma’am!” I sobbed in ecstasy. 

She slid the dildo out and all the way back in; fuciking me slowly and exquisitely. She turned the dial on the vibrator all the way up. Nothing existed but the steady hum of the dildo deep in my ass and Her Majesty’s fingers milking my balls. On television the villain’s hideout exploded; bursting into flames and falling over a cliff just as I erupted in a white hot super nova.

I am going to miss Her Majesty a lot.  The memory of our beautiful session will nurture and sustain me while I count the days awaiting her return. Today is our 28th Wedding Anniversary.

Photos courtesy of:

Saturday, July 5, 2014

Where Two Waters Meet

Her Majesty and I will be dropping off the radar for a little while. In a few days we are traveling to the island where I spent many childhood summers and where my Mother lived for over twenty years. I will not be bringing a computer. Even if I did Internet access would be problematic at best. We will be performing the final rights for Mom; casting her ashes adrift where the two waters meet. For me this will be a time of quiet introspection, rediscovering simple pleasures and saying my final goodbyes. It will be time for quieting my mind; shutting out the seemingly endless chatter that distracts me from experiencing life in the moment and spending quality time with my family. The island we are visiting holds a special kind of magic for me. I haven’t been back in five years and I am really looking forward to seeing it again. Our son feels much the same way and he will be joining us on the trip. I hope everyone who reads the blog is having a peaceful, safe and joyous 4th of July holiday. As Aarkey would say; "Namaste".

Photo courtesy of Google Images

Wednesday, July 2, 2014

Dinner With D.L. King

Her Majesty and I recently enjoyed a lovely dinner with D.L. King; author and editor extraordinaire at her private residence in Brooklyn New York. Diane slow grilled a rack of baby back ribs while we sat beneath a pear tree in her backyard engaged in lively conversation. We met her adorable pussy cat Bat Girl who apparently can fly. I tried unsuccessfully to connect Diane’s Macbook Air to her television so I could share some recent scuba diving videos with her. In fact I got so involved in that project we almost missed our bus home. Thank goodness Her Majesty looked at her watch when she did. We spent a very suspenseful cab ride stuck in traffic on the Brooklyn Queens Expressway certain we would never make the bus in time. Fortunately our cab pulled up to the curb just as the bus was boarding.

Her Majesty doesn’t meet many people in the scene. I could not have found a more welcoming scene representative for her than D. L. King. To my delight Her Majesty and Diane clicked immediately and got along extremely well. They share many things in common beyond just an interest in BDSM. I couldn’t help thinking how far from the cliche notion of a dominatrix they both are. Both are genuinely caring people, warm and down to earth. Happily this is what “real” dominant women can actually be like.

At one point Diane turned to Her Majesty and asked; “beating someone is fun right?” Naturally my Queen answered in the affirmative. I asked Diane what she thought of the notion that D/s relationships should be 24/7 in order to be authentic. “I don’t know why people can’t just relax and have a good time!” she replied with a characteristic grin that lit up her face.

Diane is a highly respected author and editor. I have long admired her work so I asked her for some advice on writing erotica. Diane advised me to write less like a blogger and concentrate on creating characters and situations that have a life of their own. Regardless of which details in a story are true, she advised, a character’s motivations should make sense in the context of the story. Reality can be used sparingly for inspiration and authenticity but Diane advised me to stay away from writing stories that are literally autobiographical. Needless to say I listened to her advice intently.

Not surprisingly Diane’s house is overflowing with books. An entire wall is decorated with framed covers of published works she has either written or edited. Writing erotica is a tough business. More like a labor of love really. Before we left Diane gave us an autographed copy of her new book “Slave Girls”. The inscription on the title page reads; “Just reverse the roles. Love D.L. King.”
D. L. King

Saturday, June 21, 2014

A Dominatrix Who Hates Heels

When I saw the New York Times article; "A Dominatrix Who Hates Heels" I thought it might have been written about Her Majesty. Her Majesty doesn’t exactly hate heels but she finds them uncomfortable. As it turns out the article was about Emmanuelle Seigner, wife of director Roman Polanski. Mr. Polanski has directed a film version of “Venus In Furs” in which Ms. Seigner plays the role of Wanda.


Venus in Furs” was a novella written in 1870 by Austrian writer Leopold von Sacher-Masoch. It was Leopold who put the “masoch” in masochism. Severin the protagonist of the story puts Wanda on a pedestal and pledges his undying devotion, asking for nothing in return but humiliation and suffering. His masochistic longings are expounded on in vivid purple prose making it apparent that Severin is a thinly veiled stand in for the author who obviously shares his pervy predilections.

I recommend reading the novella if you haven’t already done so. The language is a bit stilted but then it was 1870. Many have observed that Severin is far from the perfect submissive. He tops from the bottom and has a tendency to be whiny and annoying. To my mind that only serves to make him more authentic! (LOL!) I recently reviewed a stunning new edition of  “Venus In Furs” illustrated and translated by Sardax.

The Polanski film “Venus In Fur” is based on the Tony Award winning play of the same name written by David Ives.. The central character is a writer and director named Thomas played by Mathieu Amalric whose reportedly riveting performance is  “very close to a Polanski impersonation”. Emmanuelle Seigner plays a sultry actress named Vanda who arrives late to audition for the role of Wanda in a theatrical version of “Venus In Furs”. As they rehearse the play the chemistry between director and actress ignites and they are transformed into a modern day incarnation of Severin and Wanda.

Mathieu Amalric, Emmanuelle Seigner and Roman Polanski in "Venus In Fur"

In his review of the film titled “"A Sadist and a Masochist Walk Into A Theater" New York Times critic A.O. Scott asks: “Is it about sex or power? Art or life? The nature of theater or the logic of desire? Why choose? And why exclude the possibility that the movie is also about Mr. Polanski himself?”

Her Majesty and I greatly enjoyed seeing the play “Venus In Fur” last spring. Needless to say we are also looking forward to seeing Mr. Polanski’s film. Shout out to Paltego keeper of the flame at Femdom Resource for posting about the upcoming film and the Sardax edition of the book.

When asked what she found most challenging about playing the role of Wanda Emmanuelle Seigner replied; “the most difficult thing about the role was to wear those high heels.” My suggestion to the dominatrix who hates heels but has a slave who loves them is to train him in the devotional art of bare foot worship. It worked for Her Majesty and I. Bright red toe nail polish is always a nice touch.

Images courtesy of:

Saturday, June 14, 2014

The Fundamental Things Apply

Esther Perel recently appeared on the Colbert Report to discuss her new book; “Mating In Captivity; Unlocking Erotic Intelligence”. During the interview Ms. Perel shared that she was baffled by infidelity because many people that stray appear to be in happy relationships. Nevertheless they frequently succumb to temptation often with disastrous results. If they are so happy what are they seeking and why would they risk it all?

Ms. Perel maintains that people who cheat seek attention, romance and excitement. They long to re-experience the dopamine rush they remember feeling when they first fell in love. People sometimes feel taken for granted in long term relationships. They want to view themselves as being desirable in someone else’s eyes. Men can be especially obtuse about their own motivations and tend to view everything through the prism of sex. In his interview with Ms. Perel Stephen Colbert brought the topic of conversation back to sex at every opportunity with hilarious results.

I have come to believe that kinky and vanilla relationships are similar in many respects. D/s relationships are essentially romantic relationships; albeit with a different set of power dynamics. Naturally people want their relationship to feel as vibrant after 20 years as it did when they first fell in love. Unfortunately no relationship remains the same. Over time even the most vibrant relationships lose some of their shine, changing shape to more comfortably fit the contour of the human beings they encompass. Comfort and familiarity are lovely but they can be detrimental to passion and desire.

I have not read Ms. Perel’s book so I do not know what advice she gives vanilla couples for keeping things fresh and exciting over the long haul. I can only report a few mental tricks I use to put myself in the correct frame of mind for a romantic reboot. For me state of mind is all important. As a sub attitude is everything. I am chasing a feeling. Looking for the happy place.

By concentrating on serving and obeying Her Majesty rather than focusing on my own desires I can bring myself back into spiritual alignment with her and refresh the romance in our D/s relationship. When she recognizes that quality of open vulnerable obedience in me she is more likely to respond with affectionate dominant control. I sometimes refer to that as seducing her into dominance but really it’s more like connecting a circuit where power flows symbiotically both ways. Once that circuit is established Her Majesty and I are in the happy place. Of course nobody gets to stay in the happy place forever. It’s a bit like meditation where the mind keeps chattering and distracting you. Nevertheless practicing devotion and obedience can become like exercising a muscle that becomes stronger over time.

Lately I have been concentrating on the fundamentals. In the right frame of mind the simple act of kissing Her Majesty’s foot can be a profound and deeply sexy experience. There is nothing wrong with requesting play either. The difference between a humble request and a demand should be self evident . Here too I practice obedience because if the answer is no I must gracefully take that in stride and not complain. It is difficult to be patient sometimes but the waiting only serves to make Her Majesty’s dominance all the sweeter when it rises like the sun to warm my soul.

Whether you are in a vanilla or a kinky relationship keeping the home fires burning is extremely important. Regardless of who is on top it takes two to tango. The fundamental things apply as time goes by.

Photos courtesy of:
The English Mansion
Femme Fatale Films

Special thanks to:
For The Man Who Knows His Place
Classy Femdom Universe