Saturday, November 15, 2014

Can I Get Fries And A Whipping With That?

This morning a caption in the New York Times caught my eye. It was entitled "City In Ukraine Tied To Masochism Finds Link Painful". Apparently there is a tavern in the city of Lviv called "The Masoch Cafe" where customers can order a whipping along with their entree.

As it turns out Leopold Von Sacher Masoch was born in Lviv. (What?? Masoch was Ukrainian?? I could have sworn he was Austrian!) The Masoch Cafe is a theme based tourist attraction intended to cash in on the town's kinky celebrity. The walls of the cafe are festooned with whips chains and bras, the menu a "sophomoric compendium of double entendres". The conservative older citizens of Lviv are not enamoured of Masoch (the cafe or the writer) and feel somewhat conflicted about being identified with "Venus In Furs" the infamous novel that gave birth to the term "masochism".  Nevertheless the Cafe has found a niche following in the younger generation.

"Lviv’s young have no such hang-ups and have turned the Masoch Cafe into a popular spot for dates and group outings. On Friday evening the whipping, which is free of charge, started hesitantly on a coy young woman who was out for a drink with three girlfriends. A male waiter dressed all in black stopped beating her after a few strokes when she complained of the pain.

In general, however, female customers are far less squeamish than their male counterparts, Sasha Bankovich, a waitress at the cafe said, cradling a whip in her hands. “We’ve noticed that men scream a lot,” she said, adding that requests from customers for a whipping had remained constant throughout Ukraine’s months of tumult. “In this respect, things are very stable in our country.”

In the above photo a waitress at the Masoch Cafe in Lviv, Ukraine, pours a drink into the mouth of a customer voluntarily tied to a chair.

Saturday, October 25, 2014

As Good As It Gets

Every once in a while I look around and realize things are as good as they are ever likely to get. Over the past six years Her Majesty and I have moved beyond play confined to the bedroom and toward something loosely resembling a 24/7 D/s relationship. I serve her with pleasure and she has come to expect consistent and reliable service from me. Full blown sessions involving intense play are occasional but light D/s interludes involving worship and tender touching occur frequently. We slip in and out of our D/s roles with ease and tend to view them as fun and flirty rather than somber and serious. Though it took awhile to find out what works best for us D/s has done a lot to keep the spark of romance alive in our marriage.

Much water has passed under the bridge since I first started blogging. My Mother still lived in New England when I put up my first post; “The Subbie Hubbie Survival Guide”. Our son had just started High School and was still living at home with us. I was asking a lot of questions; searching for clues about what works and what does not work in a D/s relationship. Thankfully I had a few good friends (especially Aarkey and Advo) who helped me untangle the hairball of thoughts, emotions, and desires that had been growing inside my brain for so long.

I have come to believe that there is no one right way to approach a D/s relationship. Folks should go with whatever works best for both people involved. While it is possible to have a long term D/s relationship with someone you love we found it difficult to remain "in character" 24/7. Her Majesty and I did not have much luck with contracts, required protocols or inflexible roles. Perhaps that approach works for some but most will probably find it too constrictive. Life throws a lot of changes at us and flexibility is important. In addition most of us are too complex to fit neatly into pre-defined roles indefinitely.

The other day I remarked to Her Majesty how fortunate we are to still be in a successful relationship after all these years. "That's because we love each other” she replied affectionately. Then she quickly added; “Don't jinx it!"

Sincerely loving someone is the most important ingredient in a successful relationship be it kinky or vanilla. Kink compatibility is important but without love it won’t be sufficient to navigate the rocky shoals that have doomed many a fledgling romance. When I speak of love I am not referring to infatuation that sweeps us off our feet, fills us with euphoria and is usually short lived. I am speaking of unconditional love; a deep commitment that inspires people to stick together through happy and difficult times. There is no secret formula for doing that. It’s a faith we keep reaffirming on a daily basis.

Now that Her Majesty I are empty nesters we will have more time to enjoy each other without having to worry about being parents or caregivers. I look forward to sharing whatever comes next with my best friend and the love of my life. Long live Her Majesty the Queen!

Art By:
Jay Em
*Submissive Guy Comics
*The bottom illustration is courtesy of Submissive Guy Comics and reminds me very much of HM and I.  Her Majesty agrees. In fact this is pretty much what we are doing right now...

Sunday, October 19, 2014

The Dommes Of Autumn

I always find choosing the pictures for my posts enjoyable. In fact I sometimes wonder if blogging isn't just an excuse to gaze at femdom erotica. Conversely I sometimes wonder how many readers actually read the text.  Perhaps Her Majesty’s Plaything should evolve into a tumblr site?

I found way too many images for my last post; “Boot Worship Beatdown.” Among them are a series of photos featuring Dommes in BDSM garb strolling under autumn leaves. I thought they were season appropriate so I decided to post them.

I know I know. If I were a real sub I would not be allowed to view or re-post these images but would instead be vacuuming, doing dishes and folding laundry.  In my defense I can only say that I do all of those things already. Really those are chores that every man should do around the house regardless of whether he identifies as a submissive or not. Attaching subbie significance to them can make them more enjoyable, however, so if that tickles your fancy it is highly unlikely your S.O. will object.

Her Majesty is a sharp dresser but she rarely dons full fetish attire anymore. For that matter I don't wear leather masks or slave collars like many of the subs in the photos do.  We look and dress just like ordinary folks. Shocking I know. Playing dress up is fun but it is not a requirement for us. Sometimes simple, spontaneous play works best and complicated wardrobes only get in the way. Our basic rule of thumb about session wardrobe is that I am allowed to make requests but Her Majesty decides and has the final word. In fact that is our rule of thumb for most things.

I hope you enjoy the photos. Special thanks to Dominalova for supplying most of them.  Wearing full fetish attire out in vanilla world seems to evoke the spirit of Halloween. At least it does for me. On that note I wish everyone who reads Her Majesty’s Plaything a very Happy Halloween!

Photos Courtesy of:
The Fetish Queen
Young Goddess

Wednesday, October 15, 2014

Boot Worship Beatdown

I found a lovely pair of black leather boots lying neglected at the bottom of our closet last weekend. Simple elegant and classic with four inch stilettos, these boots would be appropriate for any occasion. Her Majesty had given the green light to play later that evening. I was hoping she would take them for a spin.

HM found a police procedural on Netflix that looked promising. I occupied my favorite place on the floor beneath her and settled in to give her a long foot massage. While she enjoyed subtle plot twists and stunning shots of the English coast I savored the velvet skin on the bottom of her feet with my fingers and lips. Somewhere in the middle of the second episode I became her footstool spreading my legs wide apart so she could rest both feet comfortably on my balls and crush them playfully underfoot. I moaned and whimpered beneath her thanking her for the exquisite torment. I seem to watch a lot of television upside down these days.

Finally Her Majesty told me to go fetch her boots. I hurried upstairs to our bedroom to retrieve them along with our new Lochgelly tawse. Returning I once again sat beneath her and lovingly slipped the boots onto her feet, carefully zipping them up. 

“What’s that? Oh right. The tuning fork.” she exclaimed with a chuckle when I placed the Lochgelly tawse next to her on the couch. That is her affectionate nickname for the fiendish instrument.


The first cut of the tawse fell with a sharp crack and left a lingering after burn. Her Majesty extended her booted foot for me to lick and kiss while she painted my ass cherry red with the cruel lash. “Be careful what you wish for” I thought to myself as the tawse rose and fell. She was going easy on me but the blows from the heavy strap cut deep. Agonized echoes reverberated through my tissues. The thunderous impact of the tawse filled the room drowning out the television along with my plaintive cries and whimpers . It was a challenge holding still until the endorphins kicked in. When they did I melted into a puddle of subbie bliss at Her Majesty's booted feet. She took periodic breaks to run her cool fingers over my blazing ass cheeks. I moaned with the exquisite pleasure of her touch. 

When the beating was over Her Majesty extended her booted foot for me. I eagerly straddled her leg pressing my hard cock against the soft leather. She pushed my head down against her thigh. My face lay a few tantalizing inches from her bright red panties. She allowed me to ride her boot until I erupted onto the soft supple leather with a cry of ecstasy.

Afterward we lay entwined together on the couch. She held my head in her lap and tenderly played with my hair. In that moment I felt like we had melded into a single organism.  After a session like that I fall in love with Her Majesty all over again. What did I do to deserve such an incredible soul mate who understands the depths of my subbie heart and soul? I am a very lucky man.

Tomorrow is my 6th Blogoversary. I started this blog on October 16th 2008. What better way to celebrate than to share this boot worship beatdown with you? Wow. Six years. I finally made it Advo!

Photos courtesy of:
Domina Lova
Classy Femdom Universe
The English Mansion
Heel Slut

Saturday, October 11, 2014

Rabbit Season? Duck Season?

Nope. It’s boot season!

A cold October rain is steadily falling over our fair city. Her Majesty and I had plans to go out but they were canceled. Traffic conditions are ominous. There will be no farmer’s market today.

Autumn arrives with a tinge of wistful melancholy. It’s always a little sad when the peaches go out of season and the pretty painted toes of summer are hidden away. For a devoted boot fetishist like myself, however, fall’s arrival brings at least one consolation.

Slowly but surely they appear. Some are flat with low practical heels. Others boast towering stilettos or sky high platforms. Some are short and sassy coming up only to the ankle. Others are tall and elegant rising high above the knee. Some are soft brown leather subtle and demure. Others are black patent so shiny they are almost reflective sporting bright silver buckles and zippers.

Soon Her Majesty will start wearing her boots again. I will kneel reverently at her feet, look up at her with my pleading baby blues and ask; "Boot kisses please Ma'am?" The boots she wears on the street will not sport stiletto heels. Those are strictly reserved for play time. Speaking of play time what could we possibly do stuck home alone on a long rainy weekend? Hmmm...

Photos Courtesy of:

Rabbit Season Duck Season Trilogy courtesy of the great Mel Blanc and the immortal Chuck Jones

Saturday, October 4, 2014

Is Topping From The Bottom OK?

In reading femsub fantasy and autobiography I was surprised to discover how acceptable topping from the bottom can be. Not all femsubs top from the bottom but I could not help observing the lack of stigma attached to them doing so. In the past I have been told that if I were a “real submissive” I would put aside thoughts of fetish fulfillment or play and concentrate solely on pleasing Her Majesty. Why is there a stigma attached to topping from the bottom for male subs but not for female subs?

Perhaps the answer lies in our perception that women naturally have the upper hand and the right of first refusal when it comes to sex. Yet the suggestion to try a femdom relationship usually originates from the male partner in a relationship. Thousands of men attempt to woo their partners into dominance albeit with limited success. Chances are good that if a woman wants to dominate her man she is already doing so with no prompting from him. If the suggestion to experiment with D/s is coming from the male partner, however, he may find success elusive unless he tops from the bottom a little.

There is always the option of seeking out an experienced partner in the lifestyle scene. For single folks that is certainly a viable option and in that case topping from the bottom may not be a good idea. But this solution is no panacea. Given that two people find each other, even if they share similar kinky interests will they also be a good match for each other emotionally spiritually and psychically? There is more to building a successful relationship than knowing how to throw a whip and many considerations regarding compatibility that go beyond one’s fetish preferences. As poster Ryan Peterson recently commented here: “you have to be a couple first, before you can be a femdom couple.”

Nobody wants to top from the bottom. We want our partner to read our mind and act out our fantasies with no prompting from us. Unless our partner is psychic however, we may have to make a few suggestions. It is always a bad idea to present a dominant with a script. Pushiness is a very unattractive quality in a sub. I have heard it said that no woman wants to feel like a fetish delivery system and I totally get that. We should be open and honest about our desires while enthusiastically encouraging our partner’s input and keeping in mind that moderation and consideration of her feelings are critical. We are not directing a scene we are encouraging our beloved to be dominant. That means we must let go of our expectations, relinquish control and let it happen. Once the spark is ignited we should be careful not to involuntarily take back the reigns and kill her inner dominance before it comes to fruition. Hopefully our encouragement will light a fire that burns so hot and so bright that topping from the bottom will no longer be an issue.

IMHO it is unreasonable to suggest that a “real sub” should have no desires of his own. The vast majority of relationships, including D/s relationships, work on the basis of give and take, negotiation and compromise. Ideally top and bottom should work together to discover what works best for both people. As long as a sub is respectful and makes suggestions never demands I think a little bit of topping from the bottom is OK every once in a while.

Photos courtesy of: Classy Femdom Universe

Sunday, September 28, 2014

Loving BDSM Couples

The Huffington Post recently published an article titled:"Taboo Photos Reveal The Dual Lives Of People Who Practice BDSM". It featured a compelling series of photographs by Forest McMullin highlighting loving BDSM couples and kinky singles. The photos were taken in Georgia which is usually identified as a conservative Southern state but there is very little conservative about these photos. By displaying kinky folk in vanilla attire alongside pictures in their BDSM garb the photographer seems to capture something of the duality inherent in human nature proving the old adage that you can't tell a book by it's cover.

The pictorial tickled my imagination. These are people whom you might expect to encounter at the grocery store or on a crowded subway platform. I soon found myself wondering how many kinky people I see on the street every day without realizing it. Her Majesty and I are very much like this. We have a vanilla face that we show to the world and a private BDSM persona that we keep behind closed doors. Thanks to Maya Sinstress for posting this fun photo set on All Star Doms. Please click on the link to the article at the top of the page for more photos in this series by Forest McMullen.

Her Majesty and I have been very much involved in our vanilla worlds as of late. She has been under a lot of stress at work and ended up getting sick so I have been taking care of her. I am happy to say she is feeling a bit better today. I have been filling in for my boss who was away on vacation and with everything going on I have been crazy busy. Not much time or energy left for play. By some miracle Her Majesty has not passed her virus along to me which is a blessing. Things are difficult when one of us is sick but they are impossible when both of us are sick.

So this is our reality as a loving BDSM couple. We support each other unconditionally through thick and thin. The primary relationship always comes first. Many times D/s goes on the back burner while we deal with pressing concerns that are no fun whatsoever. But every time we play it is a celebration. Every session seems more precious to me than the last. I am appreciating everything now and taking less for granted. Even small gestures of dominance and furtive little opportunities to express my devotion are treasured. As the proverbial saying goes:  “It is better to want what you have than to have what you want”.

Photos by Forest McMullin courtesy of the The Huffington Post